11 SIGNS YOU MAY BE AN OPPOHOLIC

"KB Garage" (kb-garage) 12/09/2013 at 11:30 • Filed to: Oppoism

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Hi, my name is KB, and I’m an oppoholic.

I recently realized I’m probably spending too much time on oppo. I decided to put together a list of symptoms to help you self-diagnose. Please carefully review the following to help you identify if you too are suffering from oppoism. If I’ve missed any, please contribute to the comments section to assist in spreading awareness of this tragic addiction.

Your work to oppo time ratio is horribly skewed.

You refresh the page every two minutes and wonder why no new post has appeared.

You store countless memes, gifs, and random images on your phone or computer ready to be posted in the comments at a moment’s notice.

You rarely visit FP anymore.

When in a social setting, all your friends… you don’t have friends, so let’s say “associates”… are updating their faceback status and instatwittering filtered photos of their burritos. You’re on oppo murmuring under your breath that you’re better than them.

You can easily identify the oppo “old timers” and you’re convinced they’ve been here since the ark hit dry ground.

You get frustrated when your questions aren’t answered in less than five minutes. Example: “What the hell are they doing? Nothing is more important than my question! I don’t care if your loved ones are in the hospital. I need to know if that’s your car or just a google image.”

You wait patiently for EL_ULY’s “om nom nom” comment on at least one photo on a NSFW post. You know it’s coming, yet when it happens, you laugh anyway.

You refer to all Dodge products as Doge.

You’re oppo’ing at inappropriate times. (i.e. weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs)

You get rude comments from burner accounts, track them down and to prove them wrong, you take them for a ride… in your trunk/hatch. #donotcondonethis

Unfortunately, there is no cure for oppoism. If you feel you may be suffering from any of the previous symptoms, you’re in good company. There are many of us out there, so know that you’re not alone. Stay classy, oppo, and remember to contact your doctor for an erection lasting more than four hours.

ddavidn > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:31

3

Cure? Why the hell do I want a cure?

Party-vi > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:33

10

10% work vs. 90% Oppo.

What's skewed?

Victorious Secret > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:35

4

You rarely visit FP anymore

What is this FP and how do I download it? Is it like downloading RAM?

You can easily identify the oppo 'old timers' and you're convinced they've been here since the ark hit dry ground

Actually, it was when Cronos was being a dick and eating all his kids. I mean, who does that?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Party-vi 12/09/2013 at 11:36

8

That's clearly skewed towards work...lighten up man.

Timmy - MINI With a Big Blower > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:36

1

GET OUT OF MY HEAD...

Sn210 > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:37

2

Hello, my name is sn210, and I'm an Oppoholic

Ferrero1911 > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:37

9

You haven't gotten out of bed yet and you're reading this on your phone.

Osiris - I can haz Euro spec? > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:37

1

1. Check

2. Check

3. Check

...

10. Check

11. Check

Damn. I had no idea. But then I guess I should have known. Not only do I have a shortcut to Oppo on my computer at home, I also have one on my computer at work as well as my phone. Damn.

KB Garage > ddavidn 12/09/2013 at 11:38

3

You don't. Same reason I don't go to AA. I'm no quitter.

CAR_IS_MI > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:39

2

I've got a #12 for you: When your not on Oppo you spend your time in GTAV / FM4 / FM5 / GT5 / GT6 with people from Oppo.

philipilihp > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:39

2

Unfortunately (fortunately?) Oppo has definitely been more of a motivator than work has over the last 9 months or so that I have discovered Oppo. Happy to be part of Opponauts Annonymous!

Ferrero1911 > Ferrero1911 12/09/2013 at 11:39

1

Wtf? Kinja just took my 2! That was supposed to be 12!

MoparKetchup > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:41

6

Here is one of my countless stored gifs for you sir.

ToyDeathbot > CAR_IS_MI 12/09/2013 at 11:41

0

unless you're too cool and you're iRacing, rFactoring or Race 07-ing

ToyDeathbot > Ferrero1911 12/09/2013 at 11:42

8

13. When you treat Kinja as a human being (or your wife/ex-wife; husband/boyfriend in your case)

Tom McParland > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:43

10

Guilty!

12. You see cars on the road and the first thing you think of is whose "bait" it is. One time I was driving with the wife and saw and old Trans-Am. I said, "Oooh Bandit-bait!" She was very confused. :D

Nibby > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:43

1

I've been paid to be on Oppositelock before... usually when the shop wasn't busy at all.

twinturbobmw > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:43

1

I've answered yes to every one!

KB Garage > MoparKetchup 12/09/2013 at 11:45

1

Stored for future use. Thank you.

KB Garage > Nibby 12/09/2013 at 11:48

0

"...usually when the shop WAS busy..."
FTFY

Nibby > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:51

0

No, wasn't busy. It was a woodshop; I can't ignore students cutting things on table saws, welding, etc.

Crocket Bernet > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:51

1

I actually have all the symptoms.

KB Garage > Sn210 12/09/2013 at 11:52

5

oppo collectively "Hi, sn210."

KB Garage > Nibby 12/09/2013 at 11:55

1

You could , but probably shouldn't. The wisdom is strong with this one.

vdub_nut: scooter snob > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:56

3

13. You're pretty sure that's a Lambo, dude.

Sn210 > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 11:58

4

Lol the first step to my Oppos Anonymous recovery program. I'd offer free coffee, but then it gets to be too much like a cars & coffee meet, so I'd just be enabling you all.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Tom McParland 12/09/2013 at 12:04

2

It's a shame people so rarely ever see my bait on the road :(

KB Garage > Crocket Bernet 12/09/2013 at 12:06

0

We are here for you.

Tom McParland > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 12/09/2013 at 12:06

2

But when they do it's a special day. :)

KB Garage > Ferrero1911 12/09/2013 at 12:07

0

I have oppo'ed in the shower. Which probably sounds way worse than it is.

KB Garage > vdub_nut: scooter snob 12/09/2013 at 12:08

1

Yes. Yes I am.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 12:23

3

12: When the schoolboard contacts you wonderign what this site is and why you spend so much internet time on this site in particular.

JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 12:24

1

Oh god! I have all symptoms!

EL_ULY > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 12:24

3

LOL, I guess that's my thing forever :]

The Compromiser > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 12:29

2

#12 When something in your life doesn't work you yell Kinja!!!!! Just like Kirk did in that movie.

KB Garage > EL_ULY 12/09/2013 at 12:32

0

Yes. Please don't let us down.

KB Garage > JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! 12/09/2013 at 12:34

0

Oppoism is contagious. Be responsible and wear protection.

edlovessabarth > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 13:05

1

6, need to work on my oppoholism

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 13:49

3

12. You preface your car statements with "Well the guys on Oppo..."

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > Nibby 12/09/2013 at 14:39

0

Welding in wood shop? Pics or it didn't happen.

Supreme Kiwi Zorro > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 15:10

1

* grins sheepishly * #3 and #4 apply to me. As for #3, I have a post on my personal blog with nearly 100 GIFs that I made myself. As for #4, I don't bother visiting the front page anymore for a good reason; I'm colourblind and the comments are grey on grey.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 16:04

0

oh man, all this is so true... That's a good thing right?

wkiernan > Supreme Kiwi Zorro 12/09/2013 at 17:05

1

If you get Mozilla, go to Options/Options and pick the "content" tab. Now under "fonts and colors" click on the "colors" button. Set the colors to your taste, then unselect the check box labeled "Allow pages to choose their own colors, instead of my selections above" and presto, the pages will come up in a color scheme that should be readable in spite of your colour-blindness.

Carbyne > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 17:10

0

Are you saying it's bad to have a burner?

A3R0 > KB Garage 12/09/2013 at 17:24

0

When you start most sentences to your fellow family car enthusiast/enthusiasts as "Some guy on Oppo..."

getchapopcorn > KB Garage 12/10/2013 at 08:19

1

This. This right here. (Even though the fact that I missed it is a little ironic)

KB Garage > getchapopcorn 12/10/2013 at 08:37

0

It's never too late to admit you have a so-called "problem"